Some journeys remind you why you began.

This month’s old alumni meet-up was one of those moments, a grounding reminder of why working with adolescent boys and young men is not only important but essential in a society still shaped by deeply rooted inequalities.

Because the truth is that we still live in a world where boys are told “strong boys do not cry,” where girls are taught to shrink themselves for safety, and where gender roles decide who belongs in which space.

Imagine a world where a boy is told, “ladke ro nahi sakte,” a girl’s voice is doubted even when she speaks the truth, and non-binary young people move through spaces almost invisibly. A world where caste, class, and community quietly decide “kisko mauka milega aur kisko nahi”. Where old myths still thrive that household chores are “aurat ka kaam,” that men must always “lead the family,” that consent is “complicated,” and digital harassment is  “Violence nahi hota hai.” Yet, every time someone questions these norms, challenges a stereotype, or stands up for equality, the world shifts a little. It is slowly, quietly, but surely it does.

We see how boys grow up surrounded by these messages, absorbing them long before they can question them. And yet, in the middle of all this, when a young man pauses, reflects, and chooses to learn something remarkable happens.

Attitudes shift. Behaviours realign. Biases crack open. Relationships become healthier. That is what makes ECF’s decade-long journey with adolescent boys different through our foundation programme, Action for Equality (AfE). Through our Action for Equality (AfE) programme, we create a safe space where boys learn to unlearn. They examine the norms they grew up with and the inequalities that surround them, and slowly start to see both the world and themselves in a new light.

This month, in the old alumni meet-up, we witnessed the long-term ripple of that transformation. Yogesh, an ECF alumnus, shared, “The confidence I gained through the ECF journey is irreplaceable. Even today, in every space I walk into, the way I communicate, the way I hold myself, it all comes from those ECF days, and it is so many years!”

Saurabh Shelke, now working in the hospital industry, reflected, “At the age when I knew nothing about society or the world I belonged to, ECF opened my eyes. My father used to stop me from going to classes, but if I had not joined, I would not be where I am today. My communication skills, my outlook on life, my perspective, all the baby steps started with ECF. I did not find ECF, ECF found me!”

Somnath Rarte, working in life insurance, added, “The exposure I got at the right age, the professional and personal skill development, shaped me completely. Even today, at home and in every space I occupy, I advocate, I act. Coming here after 12 years felt nothing but inspiring.”

Amol Kasbe, in HR, shared a powerful moment: “At work, when I spoke on harassment, gender equality, and women’s issues, everyone appreciated it. The journey of learning, the awareness and confidence to take a stand, it all started with ECF.”

Rushikesh Pawar, from the first batch around 2010–2011, recounted, “ECF taught me to think critically, explore deeply, and engage meaningfully with my community. From a mechanical engineering background to completing an MSW, a PG in CSR, and now pursuing a PhD and teaching at SNDT, the foundation laid at ECF has been major. My friends and I even started a “Super 30” initiative to support students who could not afford tuition. From that batch, one student scored 98.5% and others around 80% the pride and hope in our team’s eyes were immense. It is wholesome, inspiring, and shows the journey from where we started to where we are today.”

These stories sit against the backdrop of a society where gender inequality still shows up everywhere in classrooms, workplaces, streets, online spaces, homes, and in the silences we normalise. Their reflections reminded us that gender transformative work is not confined to sessions or programmes. It evolves quietly in every decision, every conversation, and every space these young men occupy, from homes to workplaces, communities, and universities.

It is preparation for life.
It is learning how to communicate with respect.
How to support others with empathy.
How to challenge harmful norms without causing harm.
How to recognise privilege and still choose equality.

ECF has spent over a decade learning, unlearning, and working alongside adolescent boys and young men. On 30th Nov, one more time, we witnessed the lasting impact of our AfE programme, the courage, reflection, action, and values carried forward long after formal sessions ended. It was a full-circle moment. We listened. We learnt. We connected. We saw how stories sustain change.

And we walked away with a heart full of gratitude:

For their courage to question.
For their willingness to grow.
For their honesty in sharing.
For their commitment to change.

As a team, we reaffirm our belief in sustaining these relationships, nurturing these journeys, and creating safe spaces where adolescent boys and young men can grow into citizens who choose dignity, equality, and justice not because someone told them to, but because they understand why it matters.

 

#GenderEquality #GenderJustice #MenForGenderEquality #BoysForChange #EqualityForAll #SustainableChange #CommunityChangeMakers #YouthVoicesMatter #ECFImpact 

 

Authored by Urasmita Ghosh, Senior Communications Associate, Equal Community Foundation.